Are you a hockey player or a skater? If so you'll probably make a good offshore sailor.
And so I give you a fun fictional story.
For example, on a choppy nasty black night when someone is needed to go forward and hook on the tack reef line to the mainsail it's more often than not the sure footed hockey player/sailor who happily volunteers. When the roller snarling/furling drum of the roller snarling/furling jib gets stuck with an unwieldy ultra loud angry flogging monster of a jib on a violently bouncing foredeck that makes an off the charts Richter scale earthquake seem like a little nudge the hockey playing crew member is more than happy to tend to the matter as if it's just another check into the boards by the big guy or another chance at facing the goon squad. "Bring it on!!" the hockey playing offshore sailor subconsciously thinks.
Of course the more polished hockey players might see the goon squad as taking away from the finesse of the game. "This violently pitching and rolling foredeck on a black night has a mother nature sweet finesse to it." Thinks the high scoring hockey playing sailor.
"The Caribbean is so boring; I'll definitely take the adventure of an offshore New England nor-eastah." a hockey playing sailor might have been heard muttering from a pitching foredeck.
"That guy's as sure footed as a mountain goat." An amateur mountain climbing crew-member uttered from the safety of the comfy cozy cockpit while sipping luke-warm green tea.
And who better to perform the "The Dance of the Pitching and Rolling and Yawing Foredeck" ! Imagine if Tchaikovsky wrote "The Dance of the Pitching and Rolling and Yawing Foredeck, (Suite)", or Strauss wrote "The Violently Pitching and Rolling Foredeck Waltz" in 3/4 time of course and for that our foredeck hockey player/sailor would need a partner and who better than his roller derby wife? They'd most likely quickly leave Strauss behind, step a few old school low-fi punk moves and then really get down with the "Death Metal Foredeck Slam" all to the delight of the enthralled audience back in the snug as a bug cockpit as the roller snarling/furling jib is untangled and the mainsail is reefed!
"Double rations of rum for everyone!" exclaimed the happy Captain.
"Not quite the kick of the goon squad." Muttered the hockey player sailor to his wife as they walked along the side decks back into the cockpit after mission accomplished.
"Yeah, that was nothing compared to when Barreling Bertha of the "Pleasantville Thugs" knocked me five rows into the stands where my favorite white uniform landed on top of that kids strawberry ice cream. I still can't get that stain out."
Fair Winds
Captain Bill
And so I give you a fun fictional story.
For example, on a choppy nasty black night when someone is needed to go forward and hook on the tack reef line to the mainsail it's more often than not the sure footed hockey player/sailor who happily volunteers. When the roller snarling/furling drum of the roller snarling/furling jib gets stuck with an unwieldy ultra loud angry flogging monster of a jib on a violently bouncing foredeck that makes an off the charts Richter scale earthquake seem like a little nudge the hockey playing crew member is more than happy to tend to the matter as if it's just another check into the boards by the big guy or another chance at facing the goon squad. "Bring it on!!" the hockey playing offshore sailor subconsciously thinks.
Of course the more polished hockey players might see the goon squad as taking away from the finesse of the game. "This violently pitching and rolling foredeck on a black night has a mother nature sweet finesse to it." Thinks the high scoring hockey playing sailor.
"The Caribbean is so boring; I'll definitely take the adventure of an offshore New England nor-eastah." a hockey playing sailor might have been heard muttering from a pitching foredeck.
"That guy's as sure footed as a mountain goat." An amateur mountain climbing crew-member uttered from the safety of the comfy cozy cockpit while sipping luke-warm green tea.
And who better to perform the "The Dance of the Pitching and Rolling and Yawing Foredeck" ! Imagine if Tchaikovsky wrote "The Dance of the Pitching and Rolling and Yawing Foredeck, (Suite)", or Strauss wrote "The Violently Pitching and Rolling Foredeck Waltz" in 3/4 time of course and for that our foredeck hockey player/sailor would need a partner and who better than his roller derby wife? They'd most likely quickly leave Strauss behind, step a few old school low-fi punk moves and then really get down with the "Death Metal Foredeck Slam" all to the delight of the enthralled audience back in the snug as a bug cockpit as the roller snarling/furling jib is untangled and the mainsail is reefed!
"Double rations of rum for everyone!" exclaimed the happy Captain.
"Not quite the kick of the goon squad." Muttered the hockey player sailor to his wife as they walked along the side decks back into the cockpit after mission accomplished.
"Yeah, that was nothing compared to when Barreling Bertha of the "Pleasantville Thugs" knocked me five rows into the stands where my favorite white uniform landed on top of that kids strawberry ice cream. I still can't get that stain out."
Fair Winds
Captain Bill
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